You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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