i don't like sucking hair
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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