I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
