i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have fence marks all over my body
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
