so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
