her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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