You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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