What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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