Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
