If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
