i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
