I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
