I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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