So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
