i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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