the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
