I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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