Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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