i can't believe i had my finger in that
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
