i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
