She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
