Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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