Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
