I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
