She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
is that a dick in a sweater?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
