The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
