so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
