We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
