party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
