I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
