No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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