these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
