his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I touched a dick in church today
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
