is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
