I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
