Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
