I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
