i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Two words: blizzard sex
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
