I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I party with great urgency now.
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