and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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