Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize