Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
