sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
