He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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