theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Too much gin, very little bucket
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
