How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
