hotel room ftw
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
