I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did you pee in the oven last night??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
