Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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