I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
birth control should be required to get into college
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
