She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
