Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
