real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
