I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
